My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
