So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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