Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
