At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
