i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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