Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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