I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
