try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
