The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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