Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
