to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
