I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
