Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
