I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
