oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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