This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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