He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
