3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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