I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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