PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
