When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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