youre lurking in front of me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He had one of those small greek statue penises
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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