I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
its liver damage thursday
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
