I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
