If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
