quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
