You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
