There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
