she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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