Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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