Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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