I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
