I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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