I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
