have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
