let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
