I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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