Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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