In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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