I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
