Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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