why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
