She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
