I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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