now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
