We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
