...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
