I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
