id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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