ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
