is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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